When you think you have finished…

August 4, 2011 § Leave a comment


There’s nothing, for me, quite like the odd sensation, that sweeping feeling of the strangest form of relief, that is finishing a short story.

Not because when I started, I couldn’t see an end, and not because I wish to stop writing, but because of the fact that I didn’t stop writing when I thought that I had finished.

I often go to draw a story to a close, out of the fact that I secretly hate to redraft, through fear of spoiling what has come directly and undiluted from my mind. It’s not until I’ve worked my way back through a piece, stopped off at every single paragraph, and carried out essential maintenance word to expand them, that I realise how bare was the skeleton that I had before.

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I need to scratch my balls. (‘Cannot’ vs ‘Can not’)

March 31, 2011 § 4 Comments


I decided to ask my followers on Tumblr their interpretation of ‘Cannot’ vs ‘Can not’, and the general consenus was that ‘can not’ is perceived to be an exaggerated way of saying ‘cannot’ (I can not believe you touched my balls). While I see the logic in this and don’t refute it all, I think I have a bit of a different way of looking at it.

To me, the two ‘phrases’ (I’d like to say ‘words’, but ‘can not’ clearly isn’t a word) are not simply variations of the same thing. I treat them as two seperate things. This is how.

Cannot: Cannot is used to mean that something can’t be done. On a continuum of ‘can be done’, ‘might be able to be done’ ‘can’t be done’, for me, ‘cannot’ is used to denote the latter.

For example in sentence like:

I cannot scratch my balls.

The general idea here is that there is no way on earth for me to scratch my balls, and this is either because I have none, or I have some (I don’t), but am not able to reach them/scratch them for whatever reason, who cares? It doesn’t matter. This point is that ‘Cannot’ conveys my inability, for whatever reason, to do so.

Now, if I were to say

I can not scratch my balls.

I would expect you to take that to mean the opposite of that I can choose to scratch my balls; so – I can choose not to scratch them. This sentence is uttered with the implication (unlike in the first one), that my balls exist to be scratched.

My balls are there to be scratched, but I can (ability) not (choice) scratch them. Or, alternatively, ‘I can (not) scratch my balls’.

Now, I’m not sure whether that’s sound enough reasoning and I’m not sure where on earth this reasoning came from, but I do it with quite a lot of word constructions.

Time for me to talk at you.

March 31, 2011 § 1 Comment


Hi guys,

I crack myself up.

So I have a syntax assignment due in tomorrow and I’m sat here reading about drinking water 0_o. Well it started out as a search on calcium, after I looked down at my nails and realised that I’ll soon die of calcium deficiency. I learned that there is a lot of calcium in eggshell, which can apparently be ground into a powder which – get this – can be mixed into drinking water! EW. Then there is this huge problem with the fact that too little calcium is bad for your bones, and too MUCH calcium is bad for you bones. Yes. Too much, and too little of the same thing does the SAME thing to your bones.

I really wanna blog something I wrote a while back about an Emma Donoghue novel, so I think I’ll finish up this work and come back and do so. I must say that today has been very windy. The blossom is flying off the trees and whirling all around the place, which sort of makes it look like it’s snowing.

Well that didn’t go on for very long, but I’m kind of in a hurry. I’ll be back soon, I promise.

Love Kayla xxx

Darling, The Gentleman Outside Says He Wants to Climb into Your Jeans. (Ginuwine ‘In those Jeans’ Literary Translation)

February 27, 2011 § Leave a comment


Chorus: You look wonderful, my dear, all of the time. I need to know, if you are able to make any more space for me in those delctable jeans of yours?

You are wonderfully shapely, just as I desire. Do tell, are you able to make any more space for me in those jeans of yours?

Verse 1: I was driving in my car whence I spotted you, somewhat in the distance. It is with much embarrasment, might I add, that I just couldn’t take my eyes off of you. It was the jeans you were wearing, those delectable jeans, they almost brought tears to this young chap’s eyes, frightfully. I knew there and then that you must be mine because you musn’t have, can’t have know the effect those jeans were having on my poor soul. If I didn’t possess an ounce of integrity, I might’ve got down one knee and propsed. You are incredible and I can’t help but wonder how it would feel to occupy a space in your jeans with you. Oh those jeans.

Chorus: You look wonderful, my dear, all of the time. I need to know, if you are able to make any more space for me in those delctable jeans of yours?

You are wonderfully shapely, just as I desire. Do tell, are you able to make any more space for me in those jeans of yours?

Verse 2: Incredible you are, girl you’re a prize to look at, people would die for you I’m sure, I don’t even know how to tell you this. I just know from the very depths of my soul, my dear, that I am captivated by what is in front of me and I think that I may be falling dangerously in love with you. It is killing me to know, I would just love to know if I might be able to enjoy some of what is inside your jeans (you). Darling, please may I experience everything that is in your jeans? I do not wish to alarm you, I really needn’t be a bother, or a nuisance, I would just like for you to know that you sport those jeans spectacularly. Levis, Prada, oh and Babyphat, I love the way you sport them. Calvin, Iceber, Sergio, I adore them, As you can probably tell by now, I’m trying to get a space inside them with you, oh:

Chorus: You look wonderful, my dear, all of the time. I need to know, if you are able to make any more space for me in those delctable jeans of yours?

You are wonderfully shapely, just as I desire. Do tell, are you able to make any more space for me in those jeans of yours?

Simplicity

February 22, 2011 § 1 Comment


I wish people would stop telling people to grow up. To stop blind-firing the words ‘act more mature’. I wish people would stop telling other people to grow up because they think that complexity equals maturity. That a person/thing which appears to be so complex that it has been catapulted into ambiguity, is the pinnacle of maturity. It isn’t. Simplicity will always rule. Enlightenment stems from simplification.

Usher – You’ll Be In My Heart.

January 3, 2011 § Leave a comment


I usually don’t do this, post anything that isn’t mine unless it’s clearly labelled a quote. I can’t help it though, in this instance I just HAVE to. I love it.

Usher – You’ll be in my heart (Tarzan)

2010 in review

January 2, 2011 § Leave a comment


Thank you all for your time, both reading my posts and commenting them. It means a bloody lot to me.

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

A helper monkey made this abstract painting, inspired by your stats.

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 5,600 times in 2010. That’s about 13 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 189 new posts, not bad for the first year! There were 92 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 29mb. That’s about 2 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was September 13th with 202 views. The most popular post that day was True Inspiration.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were twitter.com, alphainventions.com, facebook.com, en.wordpress.com, and tineye.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for kat stacks son, up russell drawing, how to draw russell from up, colbie caillat, and drug money stacks.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

True Inspiration September 2010
1 comment

2

You’re beautiful February 2010
9 comments

3

‘Alexis’ : An Erotic Tale September 2010
3 comments

4

A Woman’s Worth March 2010
7 comments

5

Kinda, sorta, maybe, why men might cheat. August 2010
6 comments

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